With so much going on in the world and in our communities, families and individual minds, hearts and bodies right now, it can feel hard some days to remain calm, centered and grounded. It’s often easy to get quickly swept away in feelings of overwhelm, worry, grief, shame and fear—feeling both figuratively and literally like you’re losing your footing. When in the throes of these moments, it can be helpful to remind yourself to take a pause, employ mindfulness and utilize your senses and grounding techniques to help you feel a little stronger and more stable.
An Unexpected Freeze Response
I was recently in a high rise apartment in New York City with floor-to-ceiling windows on the 20th floor. I’ve always been uncomfortable with heights, and as an active meditator, I spend a lot of my time on the floor these days, which has gotten me even more out of practice for being up in high places!
While I was in that apartment, I wanted to open the blinds, which meant going toward the window. Yet, as I reached the window blinds, fear overtook me. The fear hit me in my stomach, direct to my solar plexus, or manipura chakra, which acts as the body’s energy powerhouse and when clogged or threatened, can make one feel powerless, stagnant or quick to anger. For me, I felt fear and that sense of powerlessness and found myself unable to move, which was also my nervous system kicking into the freeze response of threat.
I eventually slowly moved myself back toward the interior of the apartment and away from what was causing me so much concern and fear. I then paused, watching and observing what was happening—what was coming in through my thoughts—and mindfully considered how I could be of help to myself so that I could relax and internalize/integrate that opening blinds is a perfectly safe action.
Using Mindfulness And Grounding Techniques To Help Regain Calm When We Get Triggered
While some of us may meditate for long periods of time, which is a wonderful practice, there are mindfulness and grounding techniques that we can employ to help us in any given moment. Using skilful means, we can notice where our attention has or is going and practice bringing ourselves back into the safety (provided we are actually safe, as I was) of the present moment.
In this particular instance, I noticed what my eyes were focusing on, which was the great open air and space that I was separated and protected from by a window. Yet, I realized that it felt as though my body had followed my eyes out the window—like I was literally being transported OUT of the window! I knew that was not logical and wasn’t occuring, of course, but it sure seemed that way to my body. It felt as though my body had followed my eyes and mind out through the window—thus my nervous system registering fear and going into freeze mode in order to protect me.
To bring myself back into present space and time, calm the fear and know mentally, emotionally and physically that I was safe from any potential harm, I decided to try an experiment. At that moment, I knew that I needed to ground myself—literally.
To do so, I placed my attention on my feet, feeling them firmly on the ground. Then I moved my attention to the floor beneath my feet, imagining deep roots going from the bottom of my feet way down into the center of the earth. I wiggled my toes, further feeling and knowing that my feet were safely secured to the floor. Then, I kindly spoke to myself.
“I’m safe. My feet will stay on the ground. Everything is alright right now.”
And, I stood there, breathing deeply, activating the vagus nerve to calm my body. Finally, I looked outside the window again, taking in the view—still from a distance.
Still practicing mindfulness, I noticed that my body began to relax. I (and my physical body) realized that my eyes, while seeing into the distance, were still inside of this body—in my head—and were not going to cause me to leap anywhere. With my nervous system now calmed, still deeply and slowly breathing, I walked back toward the window. I took my intention—to open the blinds—with me and, with the help of the above mentioned mindfulness and grounding techniques, I DID open those blinds!
The wonderful thing was that not only did I open those blinds, but I was able to stay near that big window, looking outside. And although I was up so high, I felt my feet on the ground, staying on the ground. I was even able to look down upon the top of people’s heads way below, fascinated by how small they looked and how fast they were walking—without feeling like I was about to be in mid-air, rushing (or falling!) toward them.
It was an incredible moment of victory!
This small, yet powerful set of mindfulness and grounding techniques resulted in significant relief and a beautiful sense of freedom.
Using Your Senses To Help With Grounding
Applying mindfulness skills and grounding techniques can help us in many areas of our lives, especially when things begin to feel wonky or unsteady. When we’re faced with challenges and stress level heighten, we can try to take a brief pause away from the conflictual or painful feelings and shift—even if just for a second. And, on the flip-side, when things are going well, we can remember to take a moment to take in the good and experience gratitude.
I used to think that grounding techniques were mysterious—some set of woo-woo skills that I had never heard of and couldn't or wouldn't work for me. But, it turns out, that grounding skills are part of practicing mindfulness and can serve as anchors, or at least buoys, when we feel scared, stressed, overwhelmed or out of sorts.
Using what the Buddha called the “sense doors,” we can use mindfulness and grounding skills to open the portals to the present moment.
Aptly described by author Michael Brensen in his article Watching the Sense Doors, but Staying Home, he says:
“The sense doors are just the pathways or modalities through which we have awareness of things. Buddhist teachings describe six sense doors corresponding to six sense organs: the eye, the ear, the nose, the tongue, the body, and the mind. It is through these doors, that we have awareness of visual, auditory, olfactory, gustatory, somatic, or mental experiences. Since Buddhist psychology uses the concepts of sense organ and sense door to describe the mechanisms by which we have awareness of things, the mind is also a sense door, as it allows us to have awareness of mental experiences like thoughts and feelings.”
Much like our minds, our physical senses—touch, taste, sound, sight and smell—can either be used to intensify a situation and/or feeling or used to calm it. It’s truly extraordinary when you think about what our senses help us do and the information and insight we get through mindfully utilizing them.
For instance, we use touch when we feel socks on our feet, hold a mug of hot tea, or feel the soil on our hands and feet while gardening.
We use taste to experience different flavors or even textures, such as noticing that something is tart, sweet or even chewy!
We may use sound when we hear the sounds of nature, such as rain falling, birds chirping, winds rustling tree leaves or ocean waves crashing.
We can use sight, as I did, to note our peripheral vision, looking up, down and all around. And, we can do this while, again as I did, noting that our feet are firmly planted on the ground.
And, we can use smell to experience the aromas of food, the environment around us, the smell of loved ones, or to bring forth a smell that is comforting, which, for me, is that of a rose.
Of course, there are millions of examples of how we do and can use our senses!
I invite you to explore (and even jot down) how you can utilize your senses to help ground yourself and bring yourself into a calmer, more comfortable state when you feel dysregulated.
Get Grounded, Stay Present And Feel More At Peace
When we are able to ground ourselves, we can look more fully at what is around us. We can pay attention. And, when we truly pay attention and remind ourselves that we are safe in the moment, we can feel more balanced and at peace.
To further help with grounding, I invite you to check out a guided meditation that focuses on slowing down and grounding: Guided meditation for balancing the heart in the midst of how things are now.
This and all the guided meditations on my website are free to download and intended for both new and seasoned meditation practitioners. Also, please feel free to share these! If you do so on social or online, I simply ask that you provide a link to my website and proper attribution.
You may also want to check out Visualization: How To Ground & Center to help with both visualization and grounding techniques, designed to help you feel more resourced when things feel like they’re spiraling. Grounding techniques, meditation and visualization practices can help bring you back to the present moment, gradually learning to be and feel more whole and aware.
Blessings,
Karen