The Buddha invites us to begin each meditation by reminding ourselves of what it is that we are intending. He suggested there are three main categories to focus an intention meditation on that will grow our heartmind in the most beneficial manner. These are kindness, compassion and showing resolve in the face of cravings. When we are able to remember our intention, we can remain focused on what we are seeking. And, when we strengthen our resolve, we can observe our impulses rather than be activated by and/or succumb to them. Instead of being lulled into a dullness that leaves us energy-less, we can draw from a thoughtful intention to hook into our future self, which helps set the course to nurture what we want most of all.
Anchoring our intention in our present attention is an ongoing, moment-to-moment practice. As the Buddha also said, whatever you focus your attention on is what you become. Within that, employing a loving kindness to yourself is important, as is applying a “wise efforting” that is right for you. Some days, you may have more time than others. Some days, you might activate mindfulness in informal practices, such as washing the dishes or actively listening to your child or partner. And, on other days, you might be able to sit in meditation a bit longer than previous sessions. Wise efforting—not over-efforting or under-efforting—is sort of like being Goldilocks. When you employ wise efforing in your daily life and mindfulness and meditation practices, you discover and engage in what is 'just right' for you each day!
Understanding Cravings
The Buddha, believed to have been the son of a very wealthy merchant in India, left all his riches behind, along with his wife and son. The story goes, however, that both his wife and son later joined him. His wife became a nun and his son a young follower of his father, also seeking a spiritual path with the intention of wanting to reduce how much suffering he saw in the world. Suffering, or dis-ease or dis-comfort, the Buddha believed, is rooted in craving—the human desire for more and more of what we deem pleasurable while trying to steer clear of what we deem unpleasant.
Tanha—the word that means craving in the Pali language (the informal version of Sanskrit spoken by commoners)—translates to thirst, which is exactly what a craving feels like. According to the Buddha, tanha can be satisfied by activating our intention.
The other side of thirst is avoidance. Essentially, this means that we do whatever possible to avoid situations, emotions and experiences that we deem uncomfortable. This other side of the same coin may cause us to want to numb out, which can lead to substance abuse, isolation or other activities (think too much TV or time spent on social media) that are done to avoid feeling our feelings and actively engaging in our lives.
Setting intention as an anchor and employing wise effort (that just right, Goldilocks effort for you) can help us work toward fostering balance and walking the middle path or the middle way. In original Buddhist verses, the middle way is described as, “There is a middle way between the extremes of indulgence and self-denial, free from sorrow and suffering. This is the way to peace and liberation in this very life.” To learn more about the middle path/middle way, check out Finding The Middle Way, an article by author and meditation teacher Jack Kornfield.
When we remember our intention, we strengthen. Again, this is a moment-to-moment practice, and what we focus our attention on is what we become.
Wise Efforting
As discussed earlier, wise efforting is when the balance is just right—in our meditation practice and in life itself— at any particular moment. It’s an important part of achieving balance and walking that middle path—the balance between striving or indulging on the one hand, and procrastinating, numbing and pushing away on the other.
However, in order to employ wise effort we need to be aware of what pulls on us, what we might crave, what we might avoid, the intentions we have set, and responsibilities we have, which would help or hinder us in developing a practice and living a life that works.
Here is a great example that the Buddha gave to demonstrate wise efforting.
A follower of the Buddha had been continuously striving—walking in meditation until his feet bled, sitting until his knees couldn’t unbend. He became despairing. The Buddha noticed and, knowing the young man had been a proficient musician, offered this often quoted conversation/passage:
“When you strung the lute too tightly, did it make a beautiful sound?”
“No, it did not—the sound was shrill and tense.”
“And when you strung the lute too loosely, did it make a pleasing sound?”
“Not at all, then it made an unpleasant sound.”
“But when the tension was just right, it made beautiful music.”
I once experienced something very similar to this follower of the Buddha. I was on retreat and after sitting upright on the floor in the front row for several days because I wanted to ‘get it all,’ I started experiencing significant back pain. When it was my turn to check in at our meeting, I blurted out “back pain!” as my check-in response. I was so much “the striver,” sitting in that front row, on cushions, and in great pain. The group leader smiled and said to me, “how about sitting in a chair?”
And that is where I was very tangibly introduced to wise effort—to being kind to my body and going with the flow and relaxing, while also remaining alert.
The right amount of efforting applies not just to meditation, but to how we live our lives. We can use intention meditation as a way to gain skills in balance—catching when we are overdoing or underdoing. We might overdo when we’re stuck in craving or wanting to be farther along in our meditation practice (or lives) rather than comfortable with where we are right now. Alongside this impatience of wanting more may be frustration or even envy—someone else is doing it “better” than we are, or we might feel the need to control the process. Or we might be stuck in comparing mode, which is the thief of joy. We may also become anxious or feel filled with doubt—are we doing it right?
Or, we may be operating from the other side of the coin, experiencing a sense of dullness. We might struggle to cultivate enough energy and continuously fall asleep. Or, we might daydream or numb out—not being present to the experience we are in.
And, by the way, all of the above experiences are normal and happen to all of us! In fact, I’m mentioning it because it is all so common. However, as you gain experience and awareness, you will have more ability to calm yourself down and/or wake yourself up and return to being here, now, in your body, in your breath.
Fostering Awareness Through Intention Meditation
And, this brings us full circle back to intention. One of the most effective ways to sustain your awareness is to remind yourself of your intention … again and again and again.
If meditating is new to you, or if you’re a seasoned meditator perhaps having a tough day, I invite you to be very gentle with yourself and let your expectations for your ability to sit still and/or focus on your breath be held lightly. I’m sure we’ve all had the experience of starting something new and getting very frustrated with how difficult it is to feel like you’ve made any progress or gotten any of it right!
Meditation seems so deceptively easy, right? Just close your eyes and ‘be with your breath.’ As you look around, you may assume everyone else is in a blissful state of no thoughts, which I can assure you is not the case. I remember being on a silent retreat years ago, struggling to be present for one of the long sits. Looking around, I was sure that everyone else was in a meditative state. Yet, I was amused and relieved to catch eyes with another person who was struggling just like me. And, as I waited for the long sit to finish, I heard not just one, but two people snoring away!
You can experiment with intention meditation. Rather than sitting, try walking around or standing in one place. You can play with keeping your eyes open or, with eyes closed, change where your eyes are looking—perhaps have them look up a little bit inside of your head.
My request is to be gentle with yourself, have a sense of humor and offer kindness to yourself. Remind yourself that practice, little-by-little, breath-by-breath, can bring increased focus, awareness and attention—one second's worth at a time.
The effort you take—the wise effort—to meditate and practice mindfulness will go with you into everything else you do.
The guided meditation that supports this post, Breath Focus and Strengthening, is designed to help you anchor into your intention through your breath. As you begin this intention meditation, the invitation is to focus on a specific intention and put it into the center of your mind. Whether it is sustaining your attention for a moment longer than the last time you meditated or focusing on something you want to cultivate or strengthen, lovingly stay with your intention, moment-to-moment, breath-by-breath.
It’s also important to note that each time we meditate or practice mindfulness, it can be so helpful to approach what we are doing as though we are beginners—with a Zen mind, a beginner’s mind. When we look anew with each breath we take, we can see the world with an openness—a newness—that is happening because this is the only moment we have—just this one, right now. Truly, all that came before is gone, and all that will come in the future is unknown.
Blessings,
Karen
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