Have you ever wondered about your attachment style? There are four distinct attachment styles, and while we can possess a mix of characteristics indicative of each, most people identify with a particular style.
Someone with a secure attachment style is ready for mature romantic and platonic relationships. Anyone can focus on developing a secure attachment style. But to do so, it’s crucial to understand what a secure attachment style honestly is.
Let’s examine the qualities of someone with a secure attachment style, and explore how a securely attached person would adjust to being in a relationship while under quarantine.
All About Attachment Styles
Someone with a secure attachment style is comfortable expressing their affection for their partner. They do not hesitate to set boundaries, and they can also accept rejection and disappointment.
On the other hand, someone with an anxious attachment style craves acceptance and has trouble being alone, while those with an avoidant style are fearful of intimacy. A person with an anxious-avoidant style will often lash out at those who try to get close to them.
Being Open
If you have a secure attachment style, you can communicate openly. When you are upset with your partner, you tell them. In those moments, when you feel intense gratitude for your partner and your relationship, you say it. And when you have something to vent about, you let it all out. In short, you know how to ask for what you need and want. You don’t feel shame for expressing your needs.
Accepts Rejection
The ability to accept rejection is a sign of maturity. And this does not just mean taking romantic rejection when someone does not want to be with you. It means understanding when your partner needs their space.
It also means being able to own up when you know that you owe your partner an apology. Sometimes, it means understanding that you have put too much pressure on your partner and that you need to cut them some slack. It all comes down to understanding that you can’t overstep other peoples’ boundaries.
Setting Boundaries
Speaking of boundaries, a securely attached person has no problem setting boundaries of their own. When you know that a specific behavior from your partner or a friend is not appropriate, you have no problem speaking up and saying so.
If you feel like someone has disrespected you, you stand up for yourself and don’t hold back. And you communicate your boundaries early on. You don’t wait until it’s too late, and you’ve allowed someone to walk all over you. Instead, you let people know where you stand when you meet them, and if they cannot respect it, you allow yourself to walk away.
Secure Attachment in Quarantine
If you have been home with your partner for over a month on end, you’ve probably learned a few more things about them during this tough time. A partner with a secure attachment style can give their own partner space and room to breathe.
You will be able to discuss your feelings about our current situation with openness and honesty. They will not try to pick fights out of sheer boredom. Two people with secure attachment styles will be taking this time as an opportunity to try new things together and strengthen their relationship.
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Are you trying to cultivate a secure attachment style? Has this time in quarantine made you realize that your attachment style is not as confident as you thought? Relationship counseling can help you on this journey. Reach out to me today to discuss your options for scheduling your first session.