With the weather getting warmer, I was recently rummaging through my front hall closet, looking for a less heavy jacket to wear. Trying to find a light jacket, I had to push through many coats. Some of these coats are still ‘good friends’ that I enjoy wearing, some are from earlier iterations of my life, and some are my husbands, currently used or, as with some of mine, from previous periods in our lives. I realized that, while the closet is not huge, it would appear bigger and feel more spacious if we cleared out the coats that are no longer of use to us, but could be to others.

I’m writing this blog on the eve of the spring equinox and cannot think of a better time to continue with this month’s theme of feeling into the reverence of NOW. 

On both the spring and fall equinoxes, the Northern Hemisphere and Southern Hemisphere receive equal amounts of sunlight—12 hours each—bringing balance between light and dark on the Earth. 

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the universality of breath as sacred and how it is a common source of awe and wonder in many religions and ancient societies. I chose to focus on the breath this month because mindful breathing—and the sacred relationship that we can cultivate with the breath—can aid us in strengthening our ability to see, feel and, ideally, deeply connect with, celebrate and hold reverence for all the magnificence that surrounds us each day, as best we can, given what our life circumstances are.

A couple of weeks ago I had to exit a NYC subway station by riding an incredibly steep escalator. As some of you may know, I have a longstanding  fear of heights. This escalator was not only pitched at a dramatic incline, but it was a nearly 90 foot ride to get to street level! As soon as my feet were on the stairs and my hand had grasped the railing, I noticed my immediate impulse to get off. And yet, of course, I had to hold myself onto this slow-moving staircase. As I held myself there, I had a choice. A choice about how I was going to handle the anxiety that was bubbling up from within. Many years ago, a not-so-kind inner critic might have arisen, ridiculing me for feeling challenged by doing something that people do everyday. However, I didn’t let that inner critic in. Rather, I called on my inner nurturer, talking to myself in a soothing way, being with myself, and using all of my skills.

This month, the theme is on relationships, attachment and connection, which we can bring into our mindfulness, meditation and intention practices to help us foster thoughtful, nourishing and mindful relationships. When I speak of relationships, I’m referring to the relationship we have with ourselves, with others, and with the world around us. 

The Buddha invites us to begin each meditation by reminding ourselves of what it is that we are intending. He suggested there are three main categories to focus an intention meditation on that will grow our heartmind in the most beneficial manner. These are kindness, compassion and showing resolve in the face of cravings. When we are able to remember our intention, we can remain focused on what we are seeking.

In deciding on what to blog about this month, I started thinking about where the word January originated from. From a quick Google search I learned that the name January is derived from the Roman God Janus, the God of doorways, gates and threshold—of beginnings, endings and transitions. Janus has two heads—one looking backward at where we have come from, and one looking into the future to where we want to go. I think that’s so apt for the new year given that for most of us, January is all about both reflecting back and thinking about what it is that we want to create in the new year.

We’re once again in the final throes of another holiday season and approaching a new year. While this season of lights can create feelings of joy, love and connectedness, it can also create stress, strife, loneliness and/or feelings of overwhelm. 

As we’re in the throes of the holiday season, especially as we’re finally and fully moving out of pandemic lockdown, many of us are finding ourselves faced with some uncomfortable situations with family and/or friends and feeling increased stress, including the holiday stress that generally increases this time of year. We may also find ourselves harboring resentments toward others and/or being particularly hard on ourselves, perhaps having a hard time forgiving ourselves for things we have done over this last year that may have caused harm to others or to ourselves. 

With Thanksgiving recently past, I’ve been diving into deep contemplation on gratitude, what constitutes goodness and taking in that good. It’s well-known that focusing on gratitude and goodness is an important aspect of living mindfully and doing so helps us show up and live with more compassion, appreciation and joy.

As I’ve been watching our three kittens grow, exploring all the cracks and corners of our home, exercising the classic curiosity of a cat, I’ve found myself returning to the Zen Buddhism philosophy of the “beginner’s mind,” also sometimes referred to as the “don’t know mind.”

Over the years, I’ve heard a lot about the healing energy of sound—that practices like chanting and using sound bowls have healing properties. However, I never fully understood the healing power of sound until I experienced it firsthand through the beautiful, healing sound of cats’ purring and a subsequent deep dive into the research behind purring and other high vibrational sounds.

I shared this grounding, exploratory walking meditation with the online biweekly meditation group that I facilitate. The group loved this grounding opportunity and the invitations to look at both objects that are loved and objects that we usually ignore so much that I felt compelled to share it in a blog post and build on the grounding techniques—which it feels like most of us could use more of these days—that I offered in my last blog. If you missed it, check out Mindfulness & Grounding Techniques: Bring Yourself Back To The Safety Of The Present Moment.

With so much going on in the world and in our communities, families and individual minds, hearts and bodies right now, it can feel hard some days to remain calm, centered and grounded. It’s often easy to get quickly swept away in feelings of overwhelm, worry, grief, shame and fear—feeling both figuratively and literally like you’re losing your footing. When in the throes of these moments, it can be helpful to remind yourself to take a pause, employ mindfulness and utilize your senses and grounding techniques to help you feel a little stronger and more stable.

So often, in the throes of our busy lives, it’s easy to lose track of and/or overlook the small gains, which can be like guideposts, gently reminding us that we are progressing, that there is hope for growth, change and transformation, and that we’re on the right path. These periodic check-ins help us stay focused, motivated and can elicit feelings of satisfaction and joy, as well as aid us in staying hopeful. I think that these reflections and guideposts so beautifully offer us hope—as individuals and as a collective humanity—especially right now given all the dis-ease, conflict and trauma that is prevalent in the world.

I had an interesting awakening of sorts earlier this week. It occurred as I sat down to meditate in my usual spot at home and closed my eyelids, imagining them to be blankets gently covering my eyes as I brought focus to my inner experience.

One of the most deeply-rooted conditioning in our world is that of “Othering,” the human phenomenon that compels us to look at anything that is ‘not us’ as ‘the Other.’ Othering, particularly “Bad Othering” occurs when we look at another living being—an animal, for example—and assume it is ‘not us’ so it doesn’t think or feel like us. When this happens, it becomes easier to rationalize that it doesn’t suffer and it doesn’t really feel pain.

Compassion means to suffer together, and it arises when we not only empathize with someone else’s suffering, but we also feel compelled and motivated to try to do something to relieve their suffering.

With so much violence, oppression, strife and pain going on in the world today, as well as a beautiful change into the spring season of rebirth and growth, I’ve been thinking about love and why it is that, in general, we don’t find ourselves infused with love and excitement about the miracles that are literally unfolding each moment, every day.

Shame. It’s a loaded word and an emotion/experience that underlies so much of our individual and collective suffering. Unlike guilt, which is a belief that we’ve done something bad, shame is a feeling that we are bad. As described by Dr. Chris Germer, clinical psychologist and international expert in mindfulness and compassion, “Shame is an inner, invisible energy.” However, shame is certainly something we feel inside our heads, hearts and bodies.